I do not resent the fact that I come second in your life. How could I? Of course she comes first, she’s your DAUGHTER. There is nothing in this life more important than our kids and I can’t understand anyone who puts other people before thier children. I would never make you choose. Ever. If anything I’d take the choice from you and you know it.
You know, I don’t write here enough, and when I do it seems to merely be to bitch and moan about something or to update my nonexistant readership on the random crap of my life. Or to rant. I think I’d like to challenge myself to write something more than that. Or make my rants actually have a point. Or just maybe a little more interesting, because you know, lame otherwise.
On that note, I found my archives. I really did rename them something totally illogical. Go me. Seriously, where do I get off freaking myself out unnecessarily like that when I already have other crap in my brain. Heh… probably more likely that it was a symptom of the other shit in my brain, but no matter how you look at it, I freaked out for nothing. Nothing is missing. *breathes* (And no one cares but me really, anyway.) Not that it was a huge thing, there are only a couple of posts that I think are actually worth keeping, but it’s like a diary for me - a record of myself… and I’ve been better at keeping up with the blog than I have with anything that I have in a note book - those always turn into compilations of fiction, poetry and crap I’ve glued in. Those are also fun.
I’ve been a tad nostalgic recently because so many people I’ve reconnected with over facebook seem to have got married or reproduced and it got me thinking about the things we thought we wanted to do when we first knew each other in junior and senior high school. One of my girlfriends had this huge list of things she wanted to accomplish before she was 30, and she’s actually managed most of them, motherhood among them. Me? Well, I’ve not grabbed the bull by the proverbial horns. Granted I thought that by now I’d be a Marine Biologist, married and living on the beach somewhere, but hey, not all of it is totally unrealistic. I kind of wish for simpler times when I had life ahead of me, but most of me is just kind of fed up with myself. Hello! Time to get going on things. I’ve let life just go along. Yeah, my clock is ticking, biological and otherwise and it’s time I did something about it.
Random: I saw my first old lady mullet last week. Perm in the front, braid in the back. Way classy.
Oh, and a word of glee here: Kiddo also likes the smell of books - as in she sniffs them just like I do - she just did it while she was reading the back of my newest addition to my rabid collection. She is One Of Us. Mwahahahahaha. /evil.
listening to: Roisin Murphy - Modern Timing
reading: Jane Austen - Pride and Prejudice (Why have I not read this before??)
eating: macachee (ugh, whole wheat noodles are fail)
drinking: not enough
word count: 203
darling du jour: a decent boss kill in WoW. (Yes, I said it. Deal)
I’m not dead yet!
